In a compelling exclusive interview
with TheNetng, Who Wants To Be A Millionaire’ host Frank Edoho's wife,
Katherine Obiang, who has three kids for the TV host talked about her
7-year old marriage to Frank. How it should never have been, how they should
have rather stayed friends.
- How are your kids?
- They are great.
- And how are they taking the whole divorce issue?
We
are not really divorced. It’s still a work-in-progress kind of thing but we are
taking it well. When its time for him to see the children, he does and when its
time to return them, he does. On my part, I
have carried the children along and make them understand they are
not stained because of it. I wouldn’t want them
to develop a complex because of it. We didn’t design for these things to happen
but they do. It's like people who have lost their parents, they didn’t plan for
it but they have to move on. I watch them and I think they are doing pretty
okay especially because we talk about it every time there is a reason to. have carried the children along and make them understand they are
- You mentioned that you aren’t really divorced. Does that suggest possibility of reconciliation?
No, it doesn’t. We just started the
process but there isn’t any hope for reconciliation. We know we would always be
in each other’s lives because of the children, so we have to be civil. When the
children are getting married for example, we have to hide our differences and
make it work.
- What if he (Frank) came back, would you consider it?
No. Three years have gone by. It will be a whole entire
process of knowing somebody all over again and I don’t have the energy to do
that. We’ve let it burn and I don’t think he will do that.
- Do you sometimes miss him?
He had such a great sense of humor.
I don’t know if he still does. His sense of music too, being a radio presenter,
and we used to exchange thoughts on things regarding that, but otherwise, I
don’t miss him in that nostalgic way of…It’s a part of my life I have come to
terms with. I am a solution oriented person. He was part of my life for more
than 10 years (dated for four years and got married for 7 years).
- Looking back at everything, do you wish you never got separated?
No, I think Frank and I should not have gotten married in
the first place. We should just have been friends because he was an awesome
friend. While I was dating someone else and he had to go back to his country,
he (Frank) was there all through and I had known him all the while he was in
the University of Calabar and we started our career together. I think we
shouldn’t have pushed it to marriage and just stayed as friends.
- Any regrets about that?
No. I have three lovely kids to show
for it and of course, every thing happens for a reason and a purpose. They can
only make us better or stronger people and it has done so for me. I have grown
from what went wrong.
- What is usually the cause of the fight?
I think it's impatience, anger and
not knowing how to deal with issue in the now, so you react before you think.
It goes like, ‘huh, how dare you say this to me…is that what you will say?’ I
can’t remember any one in particular, it has been long now, I have moved on and
it’s not a thing that can happen to me again but I always say no matter what, a
man should not raise his hands on a woman. A woman should also not goad a man
too much. It takes nothing from the man who walks away because once he hits a
woman, he starts to think it is justifiable. Unfortunately, we are in a society
where we have friends that will give you thumbs up for doing that. A man should
be calmer and not react on the now.
- Are you making efforts to ensure that your son isn’t wrongly influenced by this?
I have a son and I talk to him all
the time. I let him know he must be there to protect his sister. They should
look at him and feel safe with him and he knows that. The girls also push him
and I caution them, so it’s a balance.
- Were you hit by the rumors of his recent marriage?
I didn’t want to believe he was
because we are still married (legally). We are not divorced, so I didn’t see
how that was possible and didn’t loose sleep over it. I’m not asking him not to
go on with his life but things should be done properly. We are separated for
three years and now in the divorce process. If he found happiness and love,
then I’m happy for him.
- Will you be trying your hands on marriage again?
You just never know.
- If you would, what kind of man would he be?
You come to a point in your life
where you can’t afford to do things out of adrenaline but with great thought.
It would be a more mature person, someone who is calm and has a fine sense of
how life should be. Someone who is mature, wise and seen life and the ways of
the world and knows what he is doing at every time.
- When you think about all that has happened, does it bring tears to your eyes?
No, I feel a sense of disappointment
instead especially now when the children come home with questions that I need a
man to answer, if he (their father) were around. For example, someone to be
there for my son at a time when he is writing his common entrance examination.
It’s a feeling of disappointment, but you know, we have to rise above them and
you go on.
- What was your reaction the very first time it happened?
I’m like these things happen in
marriages but we think of reconciliation and getting families involved. It is
your first trial in marriage and nobody gives a guideline about how things are
going to be.
- Apart from being part of the Project Alert, what other steps have you taken to help women who are battling with domestic violence?
I talk to
them but in the end, I let them know, the decision is theirs. A friend of mine
was involved in this and after we talk, she will go back to him. No matter what
platform there is, it rests on the individual. It is what I have arrived at. I
still share my story when I have the chance to.
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